--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...
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[...]
Try not to fall down the stairs or anything.
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[...although look, just for you he'll actually take the heels off before attempting this.]
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[HE'S NOT ENDEARING!!!
...But thank you for taking the heels off, okay.]