FOURTH ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

Okay, so there are a fuckton of messed up Pokémon running around, but I've got the winner right here.

[The video opens on a... well.]

I'm calling it a Munchkrow. It's the best fucking name ever.

[Well, it would be better if it was a Munchlax and a Honchkrow fusion, but it's not. Instead it has the body and tail of a Honchkrow, but it's sporting the head, wings, and legs of a Murkrow. It's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. It's currently hopping uselessly in the grass (presumably just outside Goldenrod, if the city in the background looks familiar at this time of night/morning) and it's making awful squawking noises. It's kind of pathetic, honestly.]

Look at this fucker. Are you seeing this? You'd think whatever the fuck's smashing Pokémon together to create these fucking abominations would choose two different Pokémon. I'm gonna catch this one, it's so fucking stupid.

[An Ultra Ball appears in the frame, smacking the Munchkrow in the head. The bird turns with an indignant noise that sounds more like a shriek than a squawk, and immediately launches itself at Naki and the 'Gear. The 'Gear lands in the grass, so you get a lovely view of the night sky as Naki screams. You'll see a few feathers flying upwards because apparently the correct response to dealing with a bird attacking you is to beat the shit out of it.]

Son of a fucking bitch, I'll kill you! What the fuck's wrong with you!?

[A Malamar appears in the frame and shakes her head before turning the 'Gear off. Why do Naki's posts always end with him getting attacked by something?]

Comments

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[ossifragant]

Maybe. It doesn't explain the damn thing attacking you, though.

[Greed's lived in Goldenrod for over a year. It doesn't take him long at all to figure out where Naki's located. It takes him a few minutes to arrive at the scene, but when he does, he quickly sits down next to Naki, mindful of his Pokemon.]

[deaftly]

[The Malamar chirps a greeting and moves so Greed has enough room to sit. She's keeping a sharp eye out for any more of those fused Pokémon.

Naki grins, though it's a bit subdued in comparison to his usual energy.]

Hey. Good of you to get over here so quickly. But you don't need to worry that much about me!

[ossifragant]

[Greed just smirks, trying to look like he's not bothered.]

Least I can do, huh? Especially after got tackled by something, too. It's kind of a pain in the ass, having to worry about mutant Pokemon attacking you while you're outside.

[deaftly]

This is the first one I've seen. I've heard about 'em, but this one just looked so fucking stupid...

[Sigh.]

But I'm fine. Like I said, I've had worse. This's nothing compared to the shit I went through right before I showed up here. Though that was a year ago, so...

[...Man, he really has had it easy here.]

[ossifragant]

[Greed's had a lot of time to adjust to this place, too. He can't really complain, though. He likes it here, even if he is going to be at a disadvantage if anyone who would exploit his weaknesses shows up.]

Still, getting attacked by a bird is pretty alarming as far as things go here.

[deaftly]

Eh, could be worse. Birds are pretty fucking tame in comparison to some of the shit here.

[He could have been punched in the brain by a Psychic-type! That would have been awful.]

[ossifragant]

It would have sucked getting attacked by a ghost-type, wouldn't it?

[He pats Naki on the shoulder, though, smirking.]

It's a decent excuse to hang out with you, even so.

[deaftly]

What, like you need a fucking excuse?

[Naki's grinning though, so clearly he's not too bothered.]

Maybe I should make you carry me home.

[Naki no]

[ossifragant]

[That gets Greed to laugh.]

Shit, you want me to do it? I will!

[Naki yes]

[deaftly]

Fuck, can you? You sure I won't be too heavy?

[The Malamar is rolling her eyes something fierce. Oh my god, you guys.]

[ossifragant]

[LOOK, MALAMAR. HE'S IGNORING YOUR EYE ROLLING.]

Why would you be too heavy?

[deaftly]

[YOU GUYS ARE SO DUMB THOUGH]

'Cause I'm like, 140 pounds. I mean, that shit's no problem for me back home, but I can't lift anything that heavy here.

[...143 pounds, but who's counting?]

[ossifragant]

[NO THEY AREN'T

Well, it's a littler heavier than he's used to carrying, but it's still not too much.]

I should be able to carry you.

[deaftly]

Good! Pick me up then!

[He bounces to his feet immediately and holds out his arms like the manchild that he is. His Malamar continues to roll her eyes. Oh my god, why this.]

[ossifragant]

[Naki....

Well, Greed can't really say no to that. So he goes ahead and tries to pick Naki up. It's a good thing he doesn't have his kagune right now, because Greed probably wouldn't be capable of picking him up so easily if that was still around!

Unfortunately, they are still dumb, lovestruck idiots.]

[deaftly]

[Well apparently he weighs the same even with the kagune, but bringing it out would bring his weight up a lot. He'll easily settle against Greed and return his Malamar, laughing.]

Alright, let's go!

[ossifragant]

[He laughs, shaking his head slightly as he carries Naki back to his house. It's slowly, naturally, so hopefully nobody sees them because they'll probably be laughed at, if so.]