FOURTH ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

Okay, so there are a fuckton of messed up Pokémon running around, but I've got the winner right here.

[The video opens on a... well.]

I'm calling it a Munchkrow. It's the best fucking name ever.

[Well, it would be better if it was a Munchlax and a Honchkrow fusion, but it's not. Instead it has the body and tail of a Honchkrow, but it's sporting the head, wings, and legs of a Murkrow. It's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. It's currently hopping uselessly in the grass (presumably just outside Goldenrod, if the city in the background looks familiar at this time of night/morning) and it's making awful squawking noises. It's kind of pathetic, honestly.]

Look at this fucker. Are you seeing this? You'd think whatever the fuck's smashing Pokémon together to create these fucking abominations would choose two different Pokémon. I'm gonna catch this one, it's so fucking stupid.

[An Ultra Ball appears in the frame, smacking the Munchkrow in the head. The bird turns with an indignant noise that sounds more like a shriek than a squawk, and immediately launches itself at Naki and the 'Gear. The 'Gear lands in the grass, so you get a lovely view of the night sky as Naki screams. You'll see a few feathers flying upwards because apparently the correct response to dealing with a bird attacking you is to beat the shit out of it.]

Son of a fucking bitch, I'll kill you! What the fuck's wrong with you!?

[A Malamar appears in the frame and shakes her head before turning the 'Gear off. Why do Naki's posts always end with him getting attacked by something?]

Comments

video;

[ossifragant]

Holy shit, are you okay?!

[Someone's a worried boyfriend, alright!]

[deaftly]

[The response comes a good half hour later and the location has changed in the background of the video. Naki's sitting on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod and he's got one of his Malamars applying bandages. Naki's suit has been torn up along the sleeves and he's sporting a few shallow scratches on his face that the Malamar will get to in a moment. She's currently handling the bandaging much better than Naki ever could, so he's holding his arm out to let her do her thing while looking resigned.]

Yeah, I'm alright. That fucker put up a pretty good fight, but it got away.

[#priorities]

[ossifragant]

[Naki, no...

Greed looks pretty damn concerned. At least Naki's squids are pretty good at taking care of him, because Greed is awful at this sort of thing. He frowns.]

I've never seen anything like that before.

Do you need me right now?

[deaftly]

[Naki's squids are the best babysitters. Well, his Malamars are. The Inkays are a little slow and he needs to babysit them, so it's... stupid. Very stupid.]

Yeah, me either. I've been out on that route plenty of times before and never been attacked by something so fucking dumb.

[Sigh.]

I'm alright, I've had worse.

[He's come pretty close to dying a few times, nbd.]

But I wouldn't say no to your company.

[ossifragant]

Maybe it's a new kind of Pokemon? Lots of new ones showed up last year.

[It's the only thing he can think of.]

Well, whatever it was, hopefully it doesn't show up again.

Where are you right now? Maybe we can be on the lookout for more of those things.

[deaftly]

But it looks like a Murkrow and a Honchkrow. Or a Murkrow that didn't evolve right. Maybe it only got to touch the stone for like, a second?

[Naki stop]

I'm... uh...

[The video swings around to show a few shops nearby. He's close to the southern outskirts of the city.]

Here. We should probably keep our eyes open for them. I dunno if there are any here in the city or not.

-> action;

[ossifragant]

Maybe. It doesn't explain the damn thing attacking you, though.

[Greed's lived in Goldenrod for over a year. It doesn't take him long at all to figure out where Naki's located. It takes him a few minutes to arrive at the scene, but when he does, he quickly sits down next to Naki, mindful of his Pokemon.]

[deaftly]

[The Malamar chirps a greeting and moves so Greed has enough room to sit. She's keeping a sharp eye out for any more of those fused Pokémon.

Naki grins, though it's a bit subdued in comparison to his usual energy.]

Hey. Good of you to get over here so quickly. But you don't need to worry that much about me!

[ossifragant]

[Greed just smirks, trying to look like he's not bothered.]

Least I can do, huh? Especially after got tackled by something, too. It's kind of a pain in the ass, having to worry about mutant Pokemon attacking you while you're outside.

[Video]

[awesmazings]

[Jimmy is going to end up responding to all the casualties at this rate, but he can't help it. Not to mention Naki is his friend and this is the second time he's been attacked on camera on the Network. Forgive him if he's a little Concerned.]

Naki!! Are you alright? Where did it go?

[He's still afraid that the pink thing that attacked him is still out there somewhere. Lurking...plotting its revenge.]

[deaftly]

[Naki's response comes some time later, after his Malamar has tried to patch him up. She's currently attempting to attend to the cuts on his face and Naki's waving her away irritably.]

Yeah, I'm alright. I've had worse.

[Much worse, actually.]

I don't know where the fucker went. These guys dragged me back to town and it hopped off. Further down uh... shit, what's the route south of Goldenrod? That one. It vanished into the grass, so I wouldn't go out there if I were you.

[awesmazings]

Goldenrod?

[Jimmy echoes thinly, swallowing hard.]

Those things are all around the city. I was hoping they'd just start to go away...but now it just sounds like they're getting closer and attacking more people!

[deaftly]

Are you fucking shitting me? They're all over the city too? What the fuck.

[Naki runs a hand through his hair and narrows his eyes.]

What the fuck's going on? Normally Pokémon don't pull this kinda shit. I guess they're mad about being stuck together or something, but how'd this happen in the first place?

--Whatever, that's not really important. I guess just try to stay inside and hopefully there aren't any in your house.

[Naki]

[awesmazings]

[GEE, THAT'S A COMFORTING THOUGHT.]

I've been staying at the Mansion, and it looks like it's clear for right now...I'm hoping that cause there are so many Pokemon inside and around it, they'll think twice about coming too close.

[deaftly]

Oh, that's a pretty good idea. My house is probably safe too.

[Unless one of these Pokémon is an Inkay-Malamar fusion. Then he'd be in trouble.]

So maybe keeping all your Pokémon out when you're outside will help or something?

[awesmazings]

That's the idea, yeah! I'm just really hoping none of my Pokemon get hurt or attacked by these things...I know they can handle it better than I can, but they don't attack with any reason at all, either. It's not like just a battle or anything.

[deaftly]

Maybe the fusion shit fucked with their brains.

[THANKS NAKI]

Well, at least Pokémon can be healed in the Center. That place is probably safe from these things too.

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[ladywithnovoice]

Do you need help?

[deaftly]

[Naki responds with a text a little while after the video, after he's been patched up by his Malamar.]

IM OKAY IT DIDNT HURT THAT BADLY
BUT ITD BE NICE IF I COULD FIND THAT FUCKER
I NEED TO PUNCH IT A FEW MORE TIMES B4 IM SATISFIED

[don't punch the bird, naki]

[ladywithnovoice]

Don't punch the bird.

[deaftly]

IM GONNA PUNCH THE BIRD

[WHY]

[ladywithnovoice]

Don't punch the bird! It's not worth it!

Besides, didn't you hit it first?

[deaftly]

[HOW DARE YOU BRING LOGIC INTO THIS]

MAYBE BUT THAT WAS WITH A POKEBALL
IT DOESNT COUNT
BUT FINE ILL LEAVE THE STUPID THING ALONE
JUST FOR YOU

[...he can't find it and he's trying to save face, okay.]

[ladywithnovoice]

Thanks. You're quite the gentleman.

[deaftly]

OF FUCKING COURSE I AM
HAVE U SEEN THIS SUIT
ONLY GENTLEMEN WEAR SUITS

[...if you say so, Naki]