FOURTH ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

Okay, so there are a fuckton of messed up Pokémon running around, but I've got the winner right here.

[The video opens on a... well.]

I'm calling it a Munchkrow. It's the best fucking name ever.

[Well, it would be better if it was a Munchlax and a Honchkrow fusion, but it's not. Instead it has the body and tail of a Honchkrow, but it's sporting the head, wings, and legs of a Murkrow. It's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. It's currently hopping uselessly in the grass (presumably just outside Goldenrod, if the city in the background looks familiar at this time of night/morning) and it's making awful squawking noises. It's kind of pathetic, honestly.]

Look at this fucker. Are you seeing this? You'd think whatever the fuck's smashing Pokémon together to create these fucking abominations would choose two different Pokémon. I'm gonna catch this one, it's so fucking stupid.

[An Ultra Ball appears in the frame, smacking the Munchkrow in the head. The bird turns with an indignant noise that sounds more like a shriek than a squawk, and immediately launches itself at Naki and the 'Gear. The 'Gear lands in the grass, so you get a lovely view of the night sky as Naki screams. You'll see a few feathers flying upwards because apparently the correct response to dealing with a bird attacking you is to beat the shit out of it.]

Son of a fucking bitch, I'll kill you! What the fuck's wrong with you!?

[A Malamar appears in the frame and shakes her head before turning the 'Gear off. Why do Naki's posts always end with him getting attacked by something?]

Comments

[deaftly]

[Naki responds with a text a little while after the video, after he's been patched up by his Malamar.]

IM OKAY IT DIDNT HURT THAT BADLY
BUT ITD BE NICE IF I COULD FIND THAT FUCKER
I NEED TO PUNCH IT A FEW MORE TIMES B4 IM SATISFIED

[don't punch the bird, naki]

[ladywithnovoice]

Don't punch the bird.

[deaftly]

IM GONNA PUNCH THE BIRD

[WHY]

[ladywithnovoice]

Don't punch the bird! It's not worth it!

Besides, didn't you hit it first?

[deaftly]

[HOW DARE YOU BRING LOGIC INTO THIS]

MAYBE BUT THAT WAS WITH A POKEBALL
IT DOESNT COUNT
BUT FINE ILL LEAVE THE STUPID THING ALONE
JUST FOR YOU

[...he can't find it and he's trying to save face, okay.]

[ladywithnovoice]

Thanks. You're quite the gentleman.

[deaftly]

OF FUCKING COURSE I AM
HAVE U SEEN THIS SUIT
ONLY GENTLEMEN WEAR SUITS

[...if you say so, Naki]

[ladywithnovoice]

Do gentlemen swear so much too?

[Not that she's against it. This is just sort of amusing now that he's not trying to pick a fight with a bird.]

[deaftly]

ALL THE FUCKING TIME
PROBABLY
I DO SO THATS GOTTA COUNT FOR SOMETHING

[Thank you for getting him to sit down and... well, he's not shutting up, but you know what this is still an improvement!!]

[ladywithnovoice]

I think it definitely counts to you being a bit more unique than most gentlemen I've met.

They've been pretty two-faced, however. You seem a lot more honest.

[With your vocal yelling at birds on a public post and all.]

[deaftly]

[Whoa, that... was actually a really nice compliment, huh...]

YEAH I DONT SEE MUCH OF A POINT IN LYING ABOUT SHIT
WHY NOT JUST SAY WHAT U WANT 2 SAY & NOT BE A DICK ABOUT IT
BUT THANKS THAT WAS NICE

[ladywithnovoice]

I just give credit where credit is due.
Are you going to chase after any more of those weird mashups?

[deaftly]

IF ANY OF THEM COME AFTER ME YEAH
BUT I GUESS I CAN LEAVE EM ALONE IF THEY DONT START SHIT

[ladywithnovoice]

I think they'd appreciate it. Judging by how a lot of them look, I think they're having a bad enough day.