FOURTH ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

Okay, so there are a fuckton of messed up Pokémon running around, but I've got the winner right here.

[The video opens on a... well.]

I'm calling it a Munchkrow. It's the best fucking name ever.

[Well, it would be better if it was a Munchlax and a Honchkrow fusion, but it's not. Instead it has the body and tail of a Honchkrow, but it's sporting the head, wings, and legs of a Murkrow. It's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. It's currently hopping uselessly in the grass (presumably just outside Goldenrod, if the city in the background looks familiar at this time of night/morning) and it's making awful squawking noises. It's kind of pathetic, honestly.]

Look at this fucker. Are you seeing this? You'd think whatever the fuck's smashing Pokémon together to create these fucking abominations would choose two different Pokémon. I'm gonna catch this one, it's so fucking stupid.

[An Ultra Ball appears in the frame, smacking the Munchkrow in the head. The bird turns with an indignant noise that sounds more like a shriek than a squawk, and immediately launches itself at Naki and the 'Gear. The 'Gear lands in the grass, so you get a lovely view of the night sky as Naki screams. You'll see a few feathers flying upwards because apparently the correct response to dealing with a bird attacking you is to beat the shit out of it.]

Son of a fucking bitch, I'll kill you! What the fuck's wrong with you!?

[A Malamar appears in the frame and shakes her head before turning the 'Gear off. Why do Naki's posts always end with him getting attacked by something?]

Comments

[deaftly]

Fuck, can you? You sure I won't be too heavy?

[The Malamar is rolling her eyes something fierce. Oh my god, you guys.]

[ossifragant]

[LOOK, MALAMAR. HE'S IGNORING YOUR EYE ROLLING.]

Why would you be too heavy?

[deaftly]

[YOU GUYS ARE SO DUMB THOUGH]

'Cause I'm like, 140 pounds. I mean, that shit's no problem for me back home, but I can't lift anything that heavy here.

[...143 pounds, but who's counting?]

[ossifragant]

[NO THEY AREN'T

Well, it's a littler heavier than he's used to carrying, but it's still not too much.]

I should be able to carry you.

[deaftly]

Good! Pick me up then!

[He bounces to his feet immediately and holds out his arms like the manchild that he is. His Malamar continues to roll her eyes. Oh my god, why this.]

[ossifragant]

[Naki....

Well, Greed can't really say no to that. So he goes ahead and tries to pick Naki up. It's a good thing he doesn't have his kagune right now, because Greed probably wouldn't be capable of picking him up so easily if that was still around!

Unfortunately, they are still dumb, lovestruck idiots.]

[deaftly]

[Well apparently he weighs the same even with the kagune, but bringing it out would bring his weight up a lot. He'll easily settle against Greed and return his Malamar, laughing.]

Alright, let's go!

[ossifragant]

[He laughs, shaking his head slightly as he carries Naki back to his house. It's slowly, naturally, so hopefully nobody sees them because they'll probably be laughed at, if so.]