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[deaftly]

--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...

What do you mean it's already recording?

Comments

[ratingspoint]

Naki, Naki, Naki, don't be ridiculous - of course it's possessed!

[IS THIS A PROBLEM]

[deaftly]

Oh my fucking god!!

[HANDS IN THE AIR

HE IS SO DONE WITH TODAY

HE IS SO DONE WITH YOU]

[ratingspoint]

[no you're not

you are getting the most dismissive little wave for your efforts, though!]

Oh, come on. It's not like you're going to be taking care of them - I'll handle that, it'll be fine.

[deaftly]

Them-- How many do you have.

[ARE ALL OF THE THINGS YOU BOUGHT POSSESSED????]

[ratingspoint]

[Mettaton takes a second to just...look down at the lawnmower, head cocked as though trying to figure out how to parse that question at all in the first place.

The lawnmower, for its part, just offers another vague rrrrrr in response, pitched up at the end such that you can practically hear the implied shrug. Yeah, Friend Lawnmower's got nothing.]

Well, it's not a male or a female, darling. What do you want me to call them? "It"? Rude.

[deaftly]

[opens mouth

closes mouth]

...Okay. So. "Them" is one person. Because they aren't a girl or a boy.

[and you know what that's the most sane thing you've said today, so he can work with this.]

[ratingspoint]

Correct!

[Mettaton, please.]

That's how it works in the Underground - we've got plenty of ghosts around, after all, and they're all the same way. They even try to become corporeal after a while, like the ones here seem to do.

[...]

...Really, though. Outside of Friend Lawnmower, I've got those two that I was out with last night, another in the ceiling fan in my bedroom, and a fifth is the reason the blender has been malfunctioning so much.

To answer your question from earlier.

[deaftly]

[ ]

Where the fuck do I start with any of that.

[GIVE HIM A SECOND]

Why is there one in the blender!?

[okay, apparently that's the most important thing to focus on here. not the fact that you have five ghosts possessing things. not the fact that you literally named one "friend lawnmower". nope. it's the blender.]

[ratingspoint]

[...]

Have you tried asking them?

[deaftly]

I didn't know they were in the blender!!

[HANDS IN THE AIR AGAIN]

[ratingspoint]

Well, what did you think was causing it to go off randomly?

[WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST MAGICALLY INTUIT THAT IT WAS A POLTERGEIST??]

[deaftly]

I thought it was broken or one of the squids was messing with it or something!!

[WHY THIS]

[ratingspoint]

...Oh dear. Hopefully the squids will know not to go near it now.

[Otherwise there may be an accident, and then there may be calamari.]

[deaftly]

Oh my god.

[IF YOUR BLENDER FRIEND TURNS HIS SQUIDS INTO CALAMARI HE'S GONNA BE MAD]

Why do you have so many of those ghosts anyway!?

[...]

Okay, I'm probably the last person who should be asking that.

[AT LEAST HE CAN ACKNOWLEDGE IT??]

[ratingspoint]

...At least you admit it.

[Thank you for saying it so he didn't have to.]

I'm just fond of them, Naki-darling, do I need more of a reason than that?

[deaftly]

No, I guess not. But can you try to keep them from possessing everything else? I don't want one in the TV.

[THEY'LL PROBABLY CHANGE THE CHANEL ON HIM OR SOMETHING]

[ratingspoint]

Trust me, they know better than to touch the TV.

[because like hell if he's putting up with that, he's got so much TV to catch up on]

They usually stay in my room. I've got no idea why that one decided the blender was a good idea. But if that's their choice, I'm not going to tell them no.

...Don't worry, Friend Lawnmower will also stay in my room.

[deaftly]

...Friend Lawnmower...

[....................]

Is the other one Friend Blender.

[....................

trrrrrrrying not to laugh oh my god]

[ratingspoint]

Of course not - that one's MTT-Brand HSD. Why?

[LIKE IT AIN'T EVEN A THING.]

[deaftly]

Okay. Alright. You know what, I'll bite. What the fuck do MTT and HSD stand for?

[ratingspoint]

HSD is High-Speed Drive, and MTT is my personal brand! Only the best.

[...welcome to your life.]

[deaftly]

...Why.

[THE MOST DEFEATED-SOUNDING THING]

Why any of this.

[ratingspoint]

Come on. A better question is probably "Why not?"

[deaftly]

My life was so normal before you showed up...

[...no it wasn't.]

[ratingspoint]

Then look at it this way.

If that's the case, it's a good thing I showed up.