--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...
What do you mean it's already recording?
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[Mettaton, really- ]
It's not like she's part of my target audience, now, is she?
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[probably???]
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[...]
...Well, actually, I know one girl that doesn't back home, but she's also a total weirdo.
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[Let him take the book back there, Naki, hang on - hopefully you're prepared for a really sketchy drawing of what is most definitely a long-haired fish lady in a suit of armor.]
That's Undyne. She's currently the head of the Royal Guard! Appointed by Asgore himself, I believe. Also Alphys'...friend.
[...YOU KNOW, JUST GALS BEING PALS, UM.]
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[Yes, Naki, that's indeed what she is.]
Holy shit, she looks fucking badass. Why doesn't she watch TV? Isn't Alphys a fucking nerd?
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[...METTATON, REALLY.]
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[Why she doesn't like you, he means. Because clearly you're awesome!!]
Are all the people you know back home either really fucking cute or badass as hell?
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[He pauses for a moment, though, thinking.]
Oh! Also...
[He goes quiet briefly, before producing something very simple on the page - a standard-looking bedsheet ghost sort of thing with big dark eyes, and after a moment of kind of looking at it and trying to figure out what seems off about it, he sketches a quick pair of headphones on it.]
That's my cousin. We all look more or less like that at the start.
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[..."decided to become a robot" dear god your world is weird.]
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[...It's actually sort of nice to discuss this with someone who knows about it? Weird, definitely. But nice-weird.]
I didn't like it very much, though.
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I don't know if I would describe it as wanting to be human. But their bodies are about as close to ideal as it can get, it's true. At least as far as I'm concerned.
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[God help us the day he actually snaps something.]
Well. At least I don't fall over easily.
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[Maybe you won't break your ankles!!]
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HE THINKS IT WAS]
You want to see it that badly?
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[WHERE THE FUCK DO WE GET A UNICYCLE, METTATON]
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[HELL IF HE KNOWS
THERE'S A BICYCLE SHOP IN TOWN MAYBE THEY CAN JURY-RIG SOMETHING]
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[THIS IS GOING TO END IN STUPID AND/OR BROKEN BONES
PROBABLY BOTH]