IC CONTACT

[deaftly]

--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...

What do you mean it's already recording?

Comments

[deaftly]

Are you serious!? It's so good! I mean, sure at first it looks like it'll kill you if you take even one bite because holy shit, that's a hell of a lot of sugar and don't even get me started on that icing and those fucking roses made of icing, but then you actually eat it and it's like...

[He waves his hands about, trying to come up with a word or a description.]

Shit, there's nothing to compare it to! I've never tasted anything like it before and-- and did you know there's like, a million different sorts of sweetness!? Like, cake is one thing, but you can eat candy and it has a completely different taste! You'd think everything made of pure fucking sugar would taste the same, but it doesn't!!

[Someone stop this man before he hurts himself.]

It's so fucking amazing! And there's so fucking much of it! Humans really love their sweets. I mean, I can get why, this shit's addicting!

[preybeforemeals]

...Have you been eating anything else?

[Let's...let's just get the important question out of the way first.]

[deaftly]

No, why the hell would I bother?

[How is he not dead yet.]

[preybeforemeals]

[NAKI.]

I'm going to introduce you to real food when I get to Goldenrod.

[deaftly]

But cake is real food!

[He does look pleased though; "real food" is probably just as good as cake anyway.]

So when are you going to get here?

[preybeforemeals]

Within a day or so. I've made a few rather charming friends, you see, and things have fallen rather nicely in my favor.

...Banjou-san will likely be with me, but he'll be easy enough to shake off once I'm there.

[deaftly]

That's great! Oh, but you can't stay with me since we can't bring anyone into the place we're staying. So don't try to get a free room or anything.

[...]

I got something for you, by the way! Don't worry, it's not a cake. I would have eaten it by now if it was.

[At least he's honest??]

[preybeforemeals]

[At least there's that, yes...]

Ah, did you? You didn't have to.

[I MEAN HE'S CLEARLY PLEASED AND HE'LL ACCEPT IT ANYWAY BECAUSE SHIT WHY NOT, BUT]

...as for where you ended up, answer something for me - is it an underground bunker of some sort?

[deaftly]

I know.

[He looks very pleased with himself though. Apparently this is just a Naki thing.]

Yeah, it's underground. It'd be pretty fucking obvious if it was above ground 'cause it's huge. Every single hallway looks the goddamn same too, so I can never figure out where the fuck I'm going. I swear I've ended up in one of the training rooms more often than I've ended up in my own room.

[preybeforemeals]

[Oh, good boy.

He doesn't seem too inclined to press further, at least, now that you've given him what he wanted.]

That's so depressing! Repulsivo - absolutely abhorrent as well. I don't envy you at all, sir.

I'll find someplace on my own; I'll have someone else with me anyway, besides Banjou-san - I've picked up a bit of an entourage.

[deaftly]

Oh yeah? Is it someone else from Tokyo?

[...Their version of Tokyo, he means.]

[preybeforemeals]

She's a lovely mademoiselle from London, actually; very cute, painfully naive, and completely unsuitable as prey - she's a bit sickly and all...

[Tsukiyama, ffs.]

And no, she doesn't have any idea about us.

[deaftly]

Well, that's certainly good. I guess it's good you found someone to travel with!

[preybeforemeals]

Please. I would have been fine on my own.

[Just because you seem to consider that The Worst Possible Thing...]

[deaftly]

I'm not going to argue that, but it's always easier to have someone along for the ride.

[preybeforemeals]

[You'd better not argue it. Last time we discussed anything of the sort, it got into something that looked suspiciously like feelings, and nobody wants that.]

Oh, she's been very useful so far. She's sentimental, though. Very attached to the notions of human kindness and decency as a basic standard.

So that's a little disgusting.

[deaftly]

[Of course not! Let's just avoid that nasty topic, shall we?]

Oh, gross. How do you put up with it? She doesn't go on and on about it, does she?

[preybeforemeals]

[And in response, his hand immediately buries itself in the front of his hair, the other toying with his collar a bit.]

Oh, amore, trust me - the first time she did it, I was re-evaluating most of my life's decisions in order to figure out what I had done to deserve this...!

Would you believe she told me that she "couldn't bear" the idea of someone getting hurt on her behalf?

[deaftly]

[You're really flamboyant, aren't you...]

Wow...

[Naki drags that word out for far too long, looking completely disgusted.]

How did you manage to put up with her for this long?

[preybeforemeals]

[In other news, the Pope may in fact be Catholic. Breaking news, live at ten.]

She's attractive and she's naive, and that, sir, is a combination that's more often helpful than it isn't.

[deaftly]

Oh. Oh! I can certainly see why you'd think that! There certainly is something fun about girls like that!

[WINK WINK]

[preybeforemeals]

[...

... ...

... ... ...

...ew.]

Not anyone I've evaluated. And especially not anyone I've found lacking in the process!

[deaftly]

No need to get so defensive, jeez. Don't tell me you're a prude.

[The idea is kind of hilarious, actually...]

[preybeforemeals]

[Tch.]

Really, monsieur, do I seem the sort? I didn't realize...

[deaftly]

Nah, not really. But that was a prudish response if I've ever heard one!