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[deaftly]

--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...

What do you mean it's already recording?

Comments

[ratingspoint]

That's what I was thinking! I mean, I know what I've heard about everyone on the surface, but the humans here are so cute, I want ten.

[...Mettaton, you can't just.]

[deaftly]

...What are you going to do, keep them as pets?

[He sounds totally baffled by this, okay.]

[ratingspoint]

Who knows. Maybe!

[...........dude.]

[deaftly]

...Well, that's kind of...

[..........]

Okay, you remember how I said there are some things you shouldn't say to other people? That's definitely one of them.

[ratingspoint]

[...]

I haven't told anyone how much I like to kill people recently.

[HE SAYS, LIKE THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT but see, he listens!]

[deaftly]

[.......................you know what, you did good, mettaton]

Well that's... Good. Yeah. Keep that up. I'm pretty sure no one here would take that sort of thing well.

[ratingspoint]

Are you kidding? They don't even take the implication of violence well.

[...He has met some weird, crazy people.]

[deaftly]

...Do I want to know what you said? I probably don't want to know.

[ratingspoint]

Some woman on the network doesn't understand how television and staging work, that's all.

[deaftly]

Did she also think that reality TV is real?

[...clearly this is the most important question to ask.]

[ratingspoint]

Probably! She admitted herself that she doesn't watch anything at all, she just assumed literally everything on it was real.

[deaftly]

Everything on it? Holy shit. I don't think I've ever met anyone who actually believed that. Who the hell was this lady?

[ratingspoint]

Someone not worth my time, obviously.

[Mettaton, really- ]

It's not like she's part of my target audience, now, is she?

[deaftly]

Well no, obviously not... But she sounds like a fucking weirdo; pretty much everyone else watches TV.

[probably???]

[ratingspoint]

Oh, exactly.

[...]

...Well, actually, I know one girl that doesn't back home, but she's also a total weirdo.

[deaftly]

Wait, there's someone back home that doesn't watch your shows? Huh. Who is she?

[ratingspoint]

Oh! She's...

[Let him take the book back there, Naki, hang on - hopefully you're prepared for a really sketchy drawing of what is most definitely a long-haired fish lady in a suit of armor.]

That's Undyne. She's currently the head of the Royal Guard! Appointed by Asgore himself, I believe. Also Alphys'...friend.

[...YOU KNOW, JUST GALS BEING PALS, UM.]

[deaftly]

...She's a fishlady.

[Yes, Naki, that's indeed what she is.]

Holy shit, she looks fucking badass. Why doesn't she watch TV? Isn't Alphys a fucking nerd?

[ratingspoint]

How should I know? She doesn't like me very much, either... So she probably just doesn't have any taste.

[...METTATON, REALLY.]

[deaftly]

Oh. Well, I guess that would explain it.

[Why she doesn't like you, he means. Because clearly you're awesome!!]

Are all the people you know back home either really fucking cute or badass as hell?

[ratingspoint]

Sometimes we're both!

[He pauses for a moment, though, thinking.]

Oh! Also...

[He goes quiet briefly, before producing something very simple on the page - a standard-looking bedsheet ghost sort of thing with big dark eyes, and after a moment of kind of looking at it and trying to figure out what seems off about it, he sketches a quick pair of headphones on it.]

That's my cousin. We all look more or less like that at the start.

[deaftly]

Oh my god. How cute! So you looked like that too, before you decided to become a robot?

[..."decided to become a robot" dear god your world is weird.]

[ratingspoint]

More or less.

[...It's actually sort of nice to discuss this with someone who knows about it? Weird, definitely. But nice-weird.]

I didn't like it very much, though.

[deaftly]

It wasn't what you wanted to be. Huh... I can't say I really get that, 'cause I've never had any problems being a ghoul and I never wanted to be human. But... it sounds like it would've sucked.

[ratingspoint]

[...Well.]

I don't know if I would describe it as wanting to be human. But their bodies are about as close to ideal as it can get, it's true. At least as far as I'm concerned.