--shit's supposed to record my voice? Why the fuck would I want to leave a message on this thing anyway? They should know who the fuck they're calling if they're calling me in the first place, and obviously I'm not gonna pick up if I don't like them so...
It's fucking winter. We don't need a lawnmower. And if you think I'm gonna mow the fucking lawn even when it needs to be mowed, then you've got another thing coming. I'll just pay someone to do that shit.
[because this is clearly the concern here]
No, but seriously - a fucking lawnmower? That's the most random fucking thing you could bring home.
[Mettaton takes a second to just...look down at the lawnmower, head cocked as though trying to figure out how to parse that question at all in the first place.
The lawnmower, for its part, just offers another vague rrrrrr in response, pitched up at the end such that you can practically hear the implied shrug. Yeah, Friend Lawnmower's got nothing.]
Well, it's not a male or a female, darling. What do you want me to call them? "It"? Rude.
That's how it works in the Underground - we've got plenty of ghosts around, after all, and they're all the same way. They even try to become corporeal after a while, like the ones here seem to do.
[...]
...Really, though. Outside of Friend Lawnmower, I've got those two that I was out with last night, another in the ceiling fan in my bedroom, and a fifth is the reason the blender has been malfunctioning so much.
[okay, apparently that's the most important thing to focus on here. not the fact that you have five ghosts possessing things. not the fact that you literally named one "friend lawnmower". nope. it's the blender.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[.......................]
Wait, no, what the fuck. Why did you buy a fucking lawnmower?
[
we're breaking out the emote early today]
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[seriously buddy don't leave him standing out here it's cold]
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[He'll move out of the doorway though so you can bring your stupid lawnmower in. Why this. What did he do to deserve this.]
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So yes, a short while later we are standing around in your living room and we're now apparently +1 lawnmower. Life is beautiful.]
I really don't see why you're so concerned about the lawnmower. It's no weirder than anything else I could have bought.
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[because this is clearly the concern here]
No, but seriously - a fucking lawnmower? That's the most random fucking thing you could bring home.
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[That's punctuated by a vague rrrrrring sound, like the thing is considering revving up despite the fact that no one's touching it.
Mettaton just kind of shoots it a Look.]
...Well, except for you, sweetheart, that's a given.
[Aaaaand that seems to placate the lawnmower in question!
...Yep.]
1 / 3
[oh okay. this is Fine.]
2 / 3
3 / 3
[naki, you've been in pokemonland for well over a year are you really surprised]
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[IS THIS A PROBLEM]
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[HANDS IN THE AIR
HE IS SO DONE WITH TODAY
HE IS SO DONE WITH YOU]
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you are getting the most dismissive little wave for your efforts, though!]
Oh, come on. It's not like you're going to be taking care of them - I'll handle that, it'll be fine.
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[ARE ALL OF THE THINGS YOU BOUGHT POSSESSED????]
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The lawnmower, for its part, just offers another vague rrrrrr in response, pitched up at the end such that you can practically hear the implied shrug. Yeah, Friend Lawnmower's got nothing.]
Well, it's not a male or a female, darling. What do you want me to call them? "It"? Rude.
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closes mouth]
...Okay. So. "Them" is one person. Because they aren't a girl or a boy.
[and you know what that's the most sane thing you've said today, so he can work with this.]
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[Mettaton, please.]
That's how it works in the Underground - we've got plenty of ghosts around, after all, and they're all the same way. They even try to become corporeal after a while, like the ones here seem to do.
[...]
...Really, though. Outside of Friend Lawnmower, I've got those two that I was out with last night, another in the ceiling fan in my bedroom, and a fifth is the reason the blender has been malfunctioning so much.
To answer your question from earlier.
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Where the fuck do I start with any of that.
[GIVE HIM A SECOND]
Why is there one in the blender!?
[okay, apparently that's the most important thing to focus on here. not the fact that you have five ghosts possessing things. not the fact that you literally named one "friend lawnmower". nope. it's the blender.]
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Have you tried asking them?
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[HANDS IN THE AIR AGAIN]
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[WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST MAGICALLY INTUIT THAT IT WAS A POLTERGEIST??]
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[WHY THIS]
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[Otherwise there may be an accident, and then there may be calamari.]
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[IF YOUR BLENDER FRIEND TURNS HIS SQUIDS INTO CALAMARI HE'S GONNA BE MAD]
Why do you have so many of those ghosts anyway!?
[...]
Okay, I'm probably the last person who should be asking that.
[AT LEAST HE CAN ACKNOWLEDGE IT??]
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[Thank you for saying it so he didn't have to.]
I'm just fond of them, Naki-darling, do I need more of a reason than that?
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[THEY'LL PROBABLY CHANGE THE CHANEL ON HIM OR SOMETHING]
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