SECOND ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

[Normally Naki wouldn't bother posting a video to the whole network about something like this, but he's been trapped inside for far too long due to the hail and he's bored. So here we are.

The room behind Naki is exceptionally plain, without any sort of interesting features at all. Naki is slightly more interesting, if only because he's leering at the 'Gear in a way that definitely can't mean anything good. He's wearing the usual suit and overall there's nothing different about him. The interesting part of the video are the six Inkays at his feet. That's right. Six. Oh wait, one of them has a serious case of Ditto-face, but the other five look like normal Inkays.]

Alright, listen up! I'm going to show you guys something really fucking cool!

[And with that, Naki pulls out a bottle. It really isn't all that remarkable, but he turns it to reveal a cute Inkay sticker in the middle.]

This is an Inkay Bottle. I guess it's not as common knowledge as I thought it was, but this is how you evolve these fuckers!

[He nudges one of the Inkays with his foot, not hard enough to hurt it. It squeaks in response.]

So! Today I'm gonna evolve these things!

[He reaches down and picks up the Ditto-faced one, apparently not realizing that it's in fact a Ditto, then pops open the bottle and proceeds to stuff the Ditto-squid inside. That bottle really doesn't look big enough for a squid to fit into, but here we go.]

Okay, so once you've got 'em inside, then you turn it around like so-- [Naki spins the bottle around a few times and pops off the lid.] --And here we go--!

[...Well, whatever he was expecting, it wasn't a blue Ditto oozing out of the bottle and falling into a very dizzy puddle on the ground.]

What the fuck-- Goddammit, Copy!! I told you to sit over there, out of the way! Fucking hell, you've ruined everything!

[Naki proceeds to reach down and grab the poor Pokémon, only for it to try to wriggle free. One of the five Inkays apparently decides that this is enough stupid for one day and reaches up to turn off the 'Gear.]

Comments

[fatalissimo]

Do you just not fight much, or what?

[deaftly]

Oh no, I do. I mean what the hell else am I gonna do here? But no, with them I evolved 'em in the middle of the night, so it wasn't exactly a great time to train, y'know?

[fatalissimo]

[Dude.]

...What the hell were you doing shoving squids into bottles in the middle of the night?

[Dude.]

[deaftly]

Well, I picked up the bottle earlier, got distracted, ended up forgetting about the bottle until I was going through my bags and found it. So I decided to try it out.

[Seriously who isn't up going through their stuff at three in the morning??]

[fatalissimo]

...You know what, more power to you. Better than losing the stupid thing forever, I guess.

[...wait.]

So you got that massive ugly thing out of that tiny bottle?

[...waaaaait.]

Either it broke the bottle or it sprayed out like champagne. Oh my god.

[deaftly]

You fucking bet it did. It was the most amazing shit I've ever seen. These fuckers are like, five feet tall too, so it just went flying...

The first one hit the wall, it was kinda gross. But the second one flew out in this fucking majestic arc. It was amazing.

[fatalissimo]

So hurry up and put one of the actual squids in there and see what happens, why don't you?

[THIS IS TERRIFYING.]

[deaftly]

Yeah, sure!

[Naki reaches down somewhere off-screen and comes back up holding an Inkay. It doesn't look too bothered until it sees the bottle and then it starts squirming.]

Alright, let's see if it works this time!

[IN YOU GO!! Naki turns the bottle and releases the cap and--!!

...and the squid just sort of flops out onto the ground, looking very dizzy. It's definitely not a Malamar.]

Goddammit, it's not this level either? How many more fucking levels do I have to raise you fuckers!?

[fatalissimo]

[Aw.

She actually looks vaguely disappointed for a moment, before - ]

...Hey, maybe you have to do it in the middle of the night.

[deaftly]

...Well, they are Dark-types, so I guess that'd make sense. Aren't there some Pokémon that evolve like that? It was like, three in the morning when I evolved the others, so...

[THAT MUST BE WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING WRONG]

[fatalissimo]

[WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT HER.]

See, there you go, Ika-san. Try it then.

[deaftly]

[Hey, that's not his name-- WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE]

Ika-- Squid!?

[fatalissimo]

...Well, it's either "squid" or "less than", and the latter's kinda rude.

[You know, the difference between 烏賊 and 以下 and everything.]

[deaftly]

[...but he's bad at this......]

Oh. Well. Yeah, that's pretty rude.

[...............................]

But you can just call me Naki instead! It's way better than "squid"!!

[fatalissimo]

Ika-san's cuter, though.

[And that is clearly what matters.]

[deaftly]

No it's not!! Naki's a fucking awesome name and it doesn't involve squids!!

[fatalissimo]

"Naki"...like the little rabbit-mice, yeah?

[Have a quick kanji doodle sent over pictochat, you.

ナキウサギ

Nakiusagi. You know, pikas. These adorable as fuck things.]

...That is pretty cute, actually.

[deaftly]

[...........................]

I can't read that. What the fuck are you talking about?

[HE'S REALLY BAD AT THIS]

[fatalissimo]

Just that you're going to be cute as hell no matter what I call you, Ika-san, so you might as well suck it up.

[deaftly]

[UGHHHHHHH]

Oh c'mon, at least call me by name! "Ika-san" is a horrible nickname!!

[Apparently "Americano" is perfectly fine for Tsukiyama though!!]

[fatalissimo]

Maybe.

[And that is all she is going to say on the topic.]

You really should see how those squids go tonight, though - I have a couple that only evolve at night and stuff, so maybe it's something like that.

[deaftly]

Yeah, I will! I'll try recording it, so if it actually works I'll send a video to you-- Oh shit, hang on, I didn't get your name. Kinda important so I don't send it to the wrong person again.

[fatalissimo]

[..."Again"?]

Nonon Jakuzure. Call me either, I don't care.

[deaftly]

[...How is he ever going to remember either of those...]

Let me write it down real fast. I'm not great with names.

[...........you know this is much easier said than done, he's just kind of staring at this blank sheet of paper.]

................[text?]

[fatalissimo]

[.........]

Nonon Jakuzure

[DOES...DOES THAT HELP...]