SECOND ERRAND ➣ VIDEO

[deaftly]

[Normally Naki wouldn't bother posting a video to the whole network about something like this, but he's been trapped inside for far too long due to the hail and he's bored. So here we are.

The room behind Naki is exceptionally plain, without any sort of interesting features at all. Naki is slightly more interesting, if only because he's leering at the 'Gear in a way that definitely can't mean anything good. He's wearing the usual suit and overall there's nothing different about him. The interesting part of the video are the six Inkays at his feet. That's right. Six. Oh wait, one of them has a serious case of Ditto-face, but the other five look like normal Inkays.]

Alright, listen up! I'm going to show you guys something really fucking cool!

[And with that, Naki pulls out a bottle. It really isn't all that remarkable, but he turns it to reveal a cute Inkay sticker in the middle.]

This is an Inkay Bottle. I guess it's not as common knowledge as I thought it was, but this is how you evolve these fuckers!

[He nudges one of the Inkays with his foot, not hard enough to hurt it. It squeaks in response.]

So! Today I'm gonna evolve these things!

[He reaches down and picks up the Ditto-faced one, apparently not realizing that it's in fact a Ditto, then pops open the bottle and proceeds to stuff the Ditto-squid inside. That bottle really doesn't look big enough for a squid to fit into, but here we go.]

Okay, so once you've got 'em inside, then you turn it around like so-- [Naki spins the bottle around a few times and pops off the lid.] --And here we go--!

[...Well, whatever he was expecting, it wasn't a blue Ditto oozing out of the bottle and falling into a very dizzy puddle on the ground.]

What the fuck-- Goddammit, Copy!! I told you to sit over there, out of the way! Fucking hell, you've ruined everything!

[Naki proceeds to reach down and grab the poor Pokémon, only for it to try to wriggle free. One of the five Inkays apparently decides that this is enough stupid for one day and reaches up to turn off the 'Gear.]

Comments

[deaftly]

But I'm not gonna need that shit if I never leave Goldenrod. The routes suck, why would I ever wanna travel all that way just to get the ability to use fucking Surf?

[Then he'd get wet and he'd have to live for weeks without cake!! Do you understand how terrible this would be, Jimmy??]

[awesmazings]

[Okay, but if you had a giant Ferret you could ride across the water like some ridiculous living pool noodle, you'd do it even if you didn't have anywhere to be, wouldn't you?]

Weeell...I guess, but if you can use Fly you won't even need to worry about the routes! You could just fly to wherever you wanted to go. Plus, there's a whole lot more to see in places other than Goldenrod. Lots of different Pokemon, too.

[deaftly]

[Absolutely not, his suit would be ruined!!

...Now if he actually prepared for the ferret-pool-noodle incident then hell yes, he'd be all over that in a heartbeat.]

I guess that's a good point. But Goldenrod's the biggest city here, right? Where else am I supposed to go to get cake at four in the morning!?

[This is a very serious question!!]

[awesmazings]

[You do have your priorities in order, don't you.]

Goldenrod might be the biggest, but other towns have places you could eat, too. And so many cool places to visit! Like, there's the Dance Theatre you can visit in Ecruteak, and the hot springs up in Blackthorn...really, you're missing out if you don't try traveling a little!

[He'll admit that he spends a lot of time in Goldenrod himself, but it's where his job is, and all.]

[deaftly]

Who gives a shit about dancing? ...Unless it's that Dance Dance Eeveelution game or whatever, that shit's fun. And who cares about hot springs either? What if I get all the way out there and there isn't even anything good to eat? It'll be a massive waste of time!

[awesmazings]

You won't know it was a waste of time until you try! And I'm not sayin' you gotta just pack up and go now or anything. It's just something to think about, if you start to get bored here in town.

[deaftly]

Huh, I guess so. I'll keep it in mind if I ever start getting bored here, but I've been here for months and I haven't reached that point yet.

[awesmazings]

Yeah. I guess you've got plenty to do, evolving all those Inkay and all.

[deaftly]

Of course! Once I'm done with all these, I'll breed some more and do the whole thing over again! It's gonna be an endless cycle of awesome!

[awesmazings]

[God have mercy]

I hope you have enough money to buy bottles to evolve them, though! I know evolution items can kinda get up there, 'specially if you're buying a whole bunch at once.

[deaftly]

It'll be no problem. I've got a pretty good system going!

[STEALING FROM NPCs um]

[awesmazings]

[BRO THAT'S ILLEGAL

not that he knows you're Team Rocket but uh

anyway]

Alright, well, you know more 'bout it than I do anyway. Maybe one of these days I'll catch an Inkay so I can try it myself.

[Hopefully not ending up with a million squids because nobody wants or needs that.]

What's your name, by the way? I don't think I've met you before- my name's Jimmy Two-Shoes!

[deaftly]

[LITERALLY NO ONE NEEDS THIS MANY SQUID - squids?? POINT IS YOU SHOULDN'T FALL VICTIM TO NAKI'S STUPID]

Huh, that's an interesting name. So what should I call you? Jimmy or Two-Shoes?

["Two-Shoes" makes him think of Tsukiyama. Two Tsukiyamas. Tsukiyama and his magical sparklefox thing.]

I'm Naki.

[awesmazings]

[HE WILL DO HIS BEST.]

You can just call me Jimmy, if you want! It's nice to meet you, Naki!

[/violently befriends]

[deaftly]

Heh, I guess it's nice to meet you too.

[JIMMY NO, NAKI IS THE LAST PERSON YOU WANT TO BEFRIEND]

[awesmazings]

[TOO LATE, IT'S HAPPENING.]

You'll have to tell me what level those guys actually do evolve, by the way. Just so I'll know when to do the bottle thing if I catch one!

[deaftly]

Oh yeah, sure, no problem! Ah, actually, I can breed you one. They had like six eggs last time, so it shouldn't be too difficult to get 'em to do it again.

[awesmazings]

Oh, really? That'd be great if you could!

[...actually.]

If you want something in return, I could catch it for you! I'm not a breeder, but I could try that too, if you wanted.

[Or just pay you for it, if worse comes to worse.]

[deaftly]

I can catch things pretty easily around here, but if you're not in Goldenrod then maybe something around there'd be good? What Pokémon do you have? I can raise shit from eggs, that's not an issue either.

[awesmazings]

I'm gonna be traveling soon, so I can let you know where I go once I get there!

As for Pokemon...I've got a whole lot. I've been here almost a year now, so if there's a certain type you like, I prolly have it!

[deaftly]

I do like the Dark-type, but I've got a ton of 'em. I should probably get something I don't have a lot of like... Grass? I dunno. I just want something really strong.

[awesmazings]

I've got a couple grass types! My strongest is definitely my Breloom, and he's both Grass and Fighting type. I've also got a Pokemon who's part Grass, part Ghost, which is really neat.

Though, if you want my opinion, the best types you can get are Electric and Fire. They're both super strong, and Electric doesn't have too many weaknesses, other than Ground.

[Because he's not at all biased with like. ....seven fire types on his roster.]

[deaftly]

Oh, I don't have any Electric-types! They're only weak to Ground-types, huh...? Which ones of that type do you have?

[awesmazings]

My starter is an Electric type and prolly the strongest Pokemon I've got! Hold on-

[Jimmy clicks his tongue and pulls the camera back a bit, revealing that he'd been sitting on the edge of a bed while talking to Naki. After a brief shuffle a large blue and yellow dog leaps up onto the bed next to him, quickly settling before turning his attention to the Gear.]

This is my buddy, Leader! Other than him I've got a Jolteon, a Helioptile, and a Joltik!

[deaftly]

Oh hey, an electric dog? That's pretty cool. What are the others? I've never heard of them.

[...]

Actually, wait, Jolteon sounds familiar. Isn't that one of those Eevee-things?

[Dance Dance Eeveelution came in handy after all!!]