SECOND ERRAND ➣ VIDEO
[Normally Naki wouldn't bother posting a video to the whole network about something like this, but he's been trapped inside for far too long due to the hail and he's bored. So here we are.
The room behind Naki is exceptionally plain, without any sort of interesting features at all. Naki is slightly more interesting, if only because he's leering at the 'Gear in a way that definitely can't mean anything good. He's wearing the usual suit and overall there's nothing different about him. The interesting part of the video are the six Inkays at his feet. That's right. Six. Oh wait, one of them has a serious case of Ditto-face, but the other five look like normal Inkays.]
Alright, listen up! I'm going to show you guys something really fucking cool!
[And with that, Naki pulls out a bottle. It really isn't all that remarkable, but he turns it to reveal a cute Inkay sticker in the middle.]
This is an Inkay Bottle. I guess it's not as common knowledge as I thought it was, but this is how you evolve these fuckers!
[He nudges one of the Inkays with his foot, not hard enough to hurt it. It squeaks in response.]
So! Today I'm gonna evolve these things!
[He reaches down and picks up the Ditto-faced one, apparently not realizing that it's in fact a Ditto, then pops open the bottle and proceeds to stuff the Ditto-squid inside. That bottle really doesn't look big enough for a squid to fit into, but here we go.]
Okay, so once you've got 'em inside, then you turn it around like so-- [Naki spins the bottle around a few times and pops off the lid.] --And here we go--!
[...Well, whatever he was expecting, it wasn't a blue Ditto oozing out of the bottle and falling into a very dizzy puddle on the ground.]
What the fuck-- Goddammit, Copy!! I told you to sit over there, out of the way! Fucking hell, you've ruined everything!
[Naki proceeds to reach down and grab the poor Pokémon, only for it to try to wriggle free. One of the five Inkays apparently decides that this is enough stupid for one day and reaches up to turn off the 'Gear.]
The room behind Naki is exceptionally plain, without any sort of interesting features at all. Naki is slightly more interesting, if only because he's leering at the 'Gear in a way that definitely can't mean anything good. He's wearing the usual suit and overall there's nothing different about him. The interesting part of the video are the six Inkays at his feet. That's right. Six. Oh wait, one of them has a serious case of Ditto-face, but the other five look like normal Inkays.]
Alright, listen up! I'm going to show you guys something really fucking cool!
[And with that, Naki pulls out a bottle. It really isn't all that remarkable, but he turns it to reveal a cute Inkay sticker in the middle.]
This is an Inkay Bottle. I guess it's not as common knowledge as I thought it was, but this is how you evolve these fuckers!
[He nudges one of the Inkays with his foot, not hard enough to hurt it. It squeaks in response.]
So! Today I'm gonna evolve these things!
[He reaches down and picks up the Ditto-faced one, apparently not realizing that it's in fact a Ditto, then pops open the bottle and proceeds to stuff the Ditto-squid inside. That bottle really doesn't look big enough for a squid to fit into, but here we go.]
Okay, so once you've got 'em inside, then you turn it around like so-- [Naki spins the bottle around a few times and pops off the lid.] --And here we go--!
[...Well, whatever he was expecting, it wasn't a blue Ditto oozing out of the bottle and falling into a very dizzy puddle on the ground.]
What the fuck-- Goddammit, Copy!! I told you to sit over there, out of the way! Fucking hell, you've ruined everything!
[Naki proceeds to reach down and grab the poor Pokémon, only for it to try to wriggle free. One of the five Inkays apparently decides that this is enough stupid for one day and reaches up to turn off the 'Gear.]
[video]
So wait...what was supposed to happen? You put them in bottles and they...actually evolve that way?
[Because nobody is actually asking the important question, here.]
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[...sorry were you expecting something that wasn't stupidity?]
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That's...really weird. I don't think I've ever heard of something evolving that way. Like, by using stones and stuff, yeah...but not that.
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[........oh god.]
It doesn't hurt them though, does it?
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[...]
But I'll prove it! Now where's one of-- ha!
[Naki reaches somewhere off camera and grabs an Inkay. He's holding it by the tentacle, but the Pokémon doesn't seem bothered by that. It does start squirming when it realizes Naki still has the bottle.]
Hold still, you little-- C'mon already--!!
[He finally manages to stuff the squirming squid into the bottle. Naki turns it around a few times and presto!!
...The squid just sort of oozes out like the Ditto, but at least it's not a literal puddle.]
Shit, it's not now either? What the fuck!?
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That being said-]
So it happens at a certain level then, I guess? Like, you can't just stick them in the bottle and have it work no matter what, like with using a fire stone on a Growlithe or something.
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[...]
Why do you want so many of them, though?
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[That's a very good question, Jimmy!]
Why do I want so many of them...? Because they're fucking hilarious! Squids spraying out of a bottle is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen!
[...because Naki is literally five, okay.]
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Huh...well, that makes sense, I guess! You're gonna have a lot of...uh, whatever those guys evolve into when you're done, though.
[And unbeknownst to Jimmy Malamar is quite large, so that's going to be a thing.]
So are you gonna train 'em all...or give them away, or what?
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[...Wait, hang on, he's misplaced an Inkay somewhere if there's a Ditto out right now, but whatever, he'll figure that out later.]
I guess I could sell 'em or something. I'm not sure yet.
[It would make up the cost of the Inkay Bottles... Though more likely he's just going to hand them over to Team Rocket. Apparently they really like it if you hand over high-leveled Pokémon!]
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Boy...well, I'm sure you'll figure out something to do with them all. Inkay is a pretty cool Pokemon itself, so I bet lots of people would be interested in having a Malamar.
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Well, I dunno about that. Malamars are fucking hideous. They're pretty strong though, so I guess there's that. They're also better at that whole psychic-talking-in-your-mind shit.
[...His Inkays are a little dumb.]
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Oh! Eh, that sorta thing kinda depends. What you think looks bad someone else might not, yaknow?
And that's really cool, actually. I've only got one Pokemon that's Psychic, and she's only half Psychic since she evolved...but I do have a friend who's got a lot of Psychic types.
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[He should probably try to remember the type matchups. Oops.]
They've got a lot of fucking mean moves though. Like Swagger and Topsy-Turvy, which is still the stupidest name for a move ever.
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[Man, that's weird if it is true, though.]
Topsy-Turvy? I don't think I've ever heard of that move before. What does it do?
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[Right? Is that right? Eh, whatever.]
Topsy-Turvy's... okay, so if a Pokémon uses something like Swords Dance and raises its attack, Topsy-Turvy does the opposite. So if it's already raised its attack, the move lowers the Pokémon's defense. So if you've got some jackass constantly boosting his Pokémon's stats, you can just use that and suddenly they're weak as hell!
I haven't seen any other Pokémon with that move, so I guess it might be kinda rare.
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Haha, that sounds like it'd be really handy, actually! Especially if you were in a really tough gym battle, or something. Especially if they're the only Pokemon that know it. That's prolly why I haven't heard of it before.
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...I don't really know how it works, but I guess it's like how you can't climb those ledges on foot and stuff.
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[Then he'd get wet and he'd have to live for weeks without cake!! Do you understand how terrible this would be, Jimmy??]
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Weeell...I guess, but if you can use Fly you won't even need to worry about the routes! You could just fly to wherever you wanted to go. Plus, there's a whole lot more to see in places other than Goldenrod. Lots of different Pokemon, too.
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...Now if he actually prepared for the ferret-pool-noodle incident then hell yes, he'd be all over that in a heartbeat.]
I guess that's a good point. But Goldenrod's the biggest city here, right? Where else am I supposed to go to get cake at four in the morning!?
[This is a very serious question!!]
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Goldenrod might be the biggest, but other towns have places you could eat, too. And so many cool places to visit! Like, there's the Dance Theatre you can visit in Ecruteak, and the hot springs up in Blackthorn...really, you're missing out if you don't try traveling a little!
[He'll admit that he spends a lot of time in Goldenrod himself, but it's where his job is, and all.]
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